Today's news...
Blah... Bluh... Blah...
Tell me about the news...
Why are people excited?
Good news! We need some good news.
Seriously?
That's right?
How can you call that good news?
Congress is gonna save us all!
Don't give it another thought.
Smile!
I fell better now!
More news...
Surprise!
Reality...
Y'all have a nice day!
