WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
The story as related to me… wife takes husband shopping at Target. Husband, having a fun loving nature, does some strange prankish things… over numerous visits to the store. Eventually both get banned from Target.
Husband did the following:
1. Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
4. Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned position and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M & Ms on layaway.
6. Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were, while murmuring “I’m so confused”
11. Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
Now… first things first… if you were thinking something about this article and me in the same thought… let me clear that thought up… this wasn’t about me, and I have never done any of this stuff…. in a Target. But it does come under the category of…
“Why didn’t I think of this? “… probably just didn’t get around to this yet. But it won’t change the fact that Shelly usually likes to go Shopping by herself… and can you blame her… given the potential here? But just by coincidence… we were in a Target just yesterday… without incident! ( and I was even in the Dressing Room too!). I was just having too much interest in my $4.55 cup of Starbucks coffee… “White Chocolate Mocha” - “Venti” … to be sidetracked into mischief. I’m not sure which consumed my thoughts the most… how good the coffee was, or how much it cost. I could have had four Cheeseburgers and a senior coke for that price. …later…
Thanks Glenda…
