National Security Alert!

NATIONAL SECURITY ALERT...…
With the outcome of last Sunday's clash with the Titans... a new National Threat Level has been established. The once standing levels of threats that went from Yellow to Red, indicating the highest level of threat, have been upgraded to show a now higher level. PURPLE is now to be considered the newest highest threat level. This new level was created in the aftermath of the recent Miami & Tennessee clashes over the past two Sundays. PURPLE offenses against these two cities have proven effective, and all attempts to be pro-active have been met with a devastating PURPLE defense. The threat is real... and Pittsburgh is the next target. This reporter has heard that there may be attempts by onlookers to wave black & yellow surrender flags... but it is not expected that any prisoners will be taken. Perhaps it should be noted that those terrible towels could be used for a additional purposes... they can help bind wounds and can certainly also be used as a crying towel. Will the PURPLE threat yet do in another city... only in the aftermath of this Sundays event will the truth be revealed. Perhaps we should all do well to indicated this new threat to everyone around us by waving a PURPLE flag this Sunday... get the news out for everyone to see. The Threat is Real!