Inspiration for another topic… someone just posted….
I'm really starting to wonder if I'm going crazy and I don't mean that in a joking kind of way. (Her husband and her) were talking tonight and he was talking about a conversation we had about a week ago that I don't remember (which it isn't the first time it's happened) and things we've done that I don't remember at all!!! And they're things I should remember. I'm actually starting to get worried. Really thinking about seeing a counselor or something after he leaves and see if there's something wrong.
My response….
In simple terms to explain this condition... you are married and have two young kids... spouses from time to time with ever increasing regularity... hear, but don't really listen to the others conversation. You're thinking about something else with 98% of your mental awareness and only 2% involved in the conversation. No wonder you don't remember it. Get use to it... it happens. Neither of you will always be 100% involved in a conversation all the time. If I'm concentrating on something and Shelly's talking, I'm listening, sometimes even responding, but really not mentally involved in the conversation, especially when it seems so casual, and I'm deeply involved in thought on something else. It happens. When you get older the ability or intent, I think mostly intent, is to only do one thing at a time. Thinking I'm really involved in what you are saying when you can see I'm 100% involved and concentrating on something else... well... that conversation however brief or important is going right into the mental recycle bin. It happens… all the time.
PS: Never use the word “crazy”… mental health experts say it’s negatively detrimental. I agree in part for a different reason… never use the word “crazy” … it could be merely a different state of reality that not socially of scientifically accepted because it not understood.
Another pool of thought…
Not remembering things… I'd say welcome to my world... but you're a bit young for that. Not much comfort in the old saying either... "The brighter the bulb, the faster it burns out". Who are you anyway? (just kidding). Can be really scary... first, forgetting things, that once recalled brings it to mind... but even worse, not even remembering things after they are recalled by someone else... stuff you should remember. Feels like a Hitchcock Movie where someone is trying to drive you insane (when you are really okay)... or worse, it's really true and stress or something has driven you into something else from a Hitchcock movie... or pulled you back ... two personalities... and no remembrance of what the other one has done. So who are you today anyway? Drifting into a previous existence of another life and blacking out this one momentarily? Was I just dreaming or was it "real" in a different reality? The mind is complex and in laymen’s terms, subject to a few short-circuits every once in a while. The possibilities are endless. In computer terms, it could be merely "bad clusters", temporally lost data, or lost forever... here today, gone tomorrow, and back the next. Yep, truly scary. Like going someplace you've never been to... and knowing in detail what's around every corner, seeing images like superimposed memories from the past over top of the current reality, smelling something from the past that isn't there now... like the smell of gunpowder, guns and cannon, from a past event where a battle took place. Hearing sounds or voices ever so vivid yet somehow subtle... not currently here (no one else heard them), but still you did hear them, see them and sometimes even smelled them. Drifting in part into another time and loosing part of "now", current time. Daydreaming? for moments, hours, or even longer. Afternoon naps that take you somewhere else in you dreams... or was it real in another place and time... was it really a nap or daydreaming... or something else? As for me... I have zero faith in the ability of trained counselors to do much more then take your money and explain your condition in scientific terms, which would prove to be no help at all. From strictly their scientific view point, it only scratches the surface of the complexity and capabilities of the mind. Science and it's limited scope trying to explain and limit the possibilities within its terms of "science reality"... and not accepting the intangible reality of other possibilities that science can't understand or explain. Deep is not the word for relating to the possibilities. Something wrong with you... or something different? All a point of perception... and acceptance of the probabilities that there's is something that exists that science can't explain... well... it opens new doors to possibilities... possibilities that may not conform to proven facts... but never the less exists. Now there's some food for thought. Dismiss it as if it was a flight of fantasy or be open minded to possibilities beyond understanding and scientific experience... it's the human experience. So... does this help?
If you are an opened minder person… you are thinking about all this… pondering the possibilities or maybe even thinking of something that happened to you in the past. If you are not… you may just be thinking I’m crazy… but I’m just relating the story. But, no matter, it’s just today’s random thoughts on another topic that sparked a bit of inspiration… or imagination… or alternate reality. Well… I’m certain not sure any more. Are you?
