Wow… Serious Moment #89 ( not to fear… it’s just a random number… a ballpark figure… spanning some unknown period of time ).
I’m sure we all reflect on lots of things as we get older… just have more time to do it… and one of the thoughts has got to be that we… being older… are closer to the end than the beginning. Some parts of reality truly suck. Reflections and memories of your life… all the great things that made you who you are… family, friends, places, and all those experiences. Of course, there’s always a bit of hind sight about some things that didn’t go as planned… like first marriages. Funny how you can have a much clearer picture of better choices in life when you nearer to the end of it. And despite the notion that you can help for kids or grandkids make better choices… well… do what you can to help shape their lives… set them on the right path… and give them the freedom to make their own choices of which some will be mistakes… then support their recovery. The biggest thing that I feel I missed out on, was knowing more about my parents and grandparents lives. History tells you about things in general… what happened to everyone… but what do you really know about family history… their day to day lives. I guess when everyone is busy, busy, busy, trying to survive day to day life… not much is written down about their earlier lives and saved, so you don’t know how things were for them. Maybe some old letters, old photos, and bits and pieces of stories that you remember from what your parents told you. So what do you really know… all in all, not too many things when you consider all the experiences of your life verses what you know about your families history. The next thought is how much will your own kids or grand kids know and remember about you. I started to consciously know my parents when I was maybe 8-10 years old and they were in their late 30’s… conscious recollections of really who they were as people. My only grandparent I have any recollections of is my mothers father… everyone else had already passed. Most of what I know is all first hand experiences… little or nothing before that. Lots of old photos that bring up more questions than answers. I guess this has been this way for most families… well… pretty much forever… bits and pieces of family history at best. Than you think about how you will be remembered. Hopefully for all the good stuff… but what will they really know of you as a person before you were part of their lives. About you as a young person growing up… and the crux of the situation… they mostly won’t really have a desire to know until you are gone and it’s too late to find out. Guess it’s always been that why for just about everyone. So I think I’ll write a little journal… a time capsule of photos and writings… that someday may be read in earnest… just so that someone can know about me… and what made me be the person I am. Maybe even so that my great, great, great, grandchildren will have some idea of who I was and the person that I am. Maybe that’s all we have to hope for in the end… not to be forgotten and lost in time. Unfortunately, all my family beyond 3 people, has been lost to time. Even a family tree of names would be nice… but still so many unanswered questions. Modern society certainly has a lot to say about the negative impact of loosing family, traditions, and heritage. I think the Native Americans got this right. Living in harmony with nature and keeping family traditions and heritage alive for generation after generations. Their descendants 10 times removed will know something about them… and will keep the memory of them alive. For the rest of us… we can only hold onto the religious way of dealing with all this… the notion that we will all be reunited in heaven and know all for the first time. I guess there’s a degree of comfort this… and who knows. So… my solution… a time capsule journal of sorts. Maybe even a good thing to do for your kids, grandkids, and so on… and maybe a good thing to share with your special someone… a little extra insight into yourself. And maybe a good thing to refresh your memory as you get older… yep, that’s what I did, or wow, I really did that? Well… that’s my thought for the day. Gonna start mine soon… this will be the first entry… ya never know where it might be in a hundred years… wow… get a chill just thinking about it… happy writing.
