PART ONE: Pleasing others... wow... now there's a loaded comment. Why is it that most times, some people seem to put so much pressure on themselves to please others. Now for the most part, most friends accept you for who you are... and if they don't... well... faced it... you don't want them for friends anyway. But family is a different story, and in most cases you either accept them for who they are or just don't care to make anything more of it beyond forced family gatherings. Hi, how are you, ( I really don't care anyway), and your obligation is done! Now for the situation... a child is grown up and out on their own, doing well by any ones standards. What I have the hardest time understanding is why one person (lets say a parent) wants to force their values and beliefs on a grown up child ( that time has come and gone, you had your chance and either did it successfully or not), and if the child doesn't think like them, than they won't get any approval from them. HELLO.... their "approval". SORRY... if the approval of one person is dependant upon the other accepting the first persons values and beliefs... somebody needs to realize their own self worth and not think that they need to conform to anybody Else's values on order to be accepted as a responsible grown up. I see this mostly with grown up, out on their own kids... young adults... that feel a need to get the approval of a parent. The flip side is, the parent isn't satisfied to just give advise, but expects that advise to be taken, or approval is withheld, or at least in some part. Vicious cycle that seems to never end. The grown up children, aggravate themselves seeking 100% approval and acceptance that will usually never come, fighting with the two sides of trying to lead their own life, and conforming to the wishes of a parent from whom they might only get conditional approval. It's a grown up world out there... self esteem and self worth needs to come from within, and not from someone that not only seeks to force their beliefs on others in general, but also to the point of cruelty... on their grown up children who are doing good for themselves by every one's standards as a whole. Set YOUR standards and goals high, work hard to achieve them, live your life as to YOUR beliefs and convictions... take pride in what YOU accomplish... and while we all enjoy a word of praise for others, especially those closest to us, YOUR happiness should not be dependant on their approval of what you are or are not doing to live YOUR life by THEIR standards. SHAKE IT OFF! Draw the line on what you are willing to accept. Accept advise... okay... but not criticism and disapproval when I decide not to take your advise. STOP aggravating yourself trying to please someone that can't be pleased anyway, and for all practical purposes, will not be satisfied unless they continue to try to control your life. SHAKE IT OFF ! ... and stand up to not accepting it anymore! If they get the message, things will get better if you hold your ground. If they don't get the message... well... there's always the family gathering... Hi, how are you, ( I really don't care anyway) and your obligation is done! Be happy with WHO YOU ARE by YOUR standards, not someone Else's.
SO WHAT FIGURES? Well. I figure last person to read this is the person that needs it the most. I further conclude that if they do read it, they will think it applies to someone else, and if they do by some chance think it applies to them, will not be able to take the advise… so why do I waste my time… ya just never know… just might help them or perhaps someone else… so even given a remote possibility of helping someone, anyone… my efforts were not a waste of time!
PART TWO: Plain and simple... You have YOUR values, beliefs, and convictions... and I have MINE. If the two are the same at some point, we will have some common ground. If we have differences, and everyone does, I will respect yours, and you need to respect mine. Please don't try being the politician that simply wants to endlessly express their beliefs until I come to accept them... IT AIN'T HAPPENING! We can disagree, you get your supporting statement, I get mine, never the two will meet... move on! If I don't ask ( and I won't ) don't keep trying to convince me that what you believe is better.... Especially when it involves politics... neither party is worth a salt... neither can work with the other, and neither has the least bit of interest in the working guy other then to keep him merrily working his life away so he continues to support the system so that they can continue to practice their own greed and steal whatever they can... for as long as they can. That's American society as a whole.
PART THREE: Thanks goodness for good friends that accept you for who you are, don't force their values or beliefs on you, enjoy likes that you share with them, and don't let differences get in the way of being friends. Amen to that!
Well... maybe this hits a sore spot with some... and if it did... perhaps it needed to hit a spot to encourage a bit of reflection into ones self. Sometimes I just write about things that I just can not understand when the solution seems so simple. Sometimes it's in response to something I heard, read, or seem on Tv... now there's a wide open source for topics. Like the $1.3 million tax payer dollars they are spending to debate what the blood alcohol level of airplane pilots should be... DAH ... HOW ABOUT ZERO!!! ... and put that $1.3 million to a better use! What in the name of God is wrong with our political leaders, judges, and congress? and will it ever END? Guess Common Sense can not compete with hidden agendas and greed.
